Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it. - P.J. O’Rourke

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. - Woody Allen

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

Never lend books, for no one ever returns them; the only books I have in my library are books that other folks have lent me. - Anatole France